42 Wolfsburg remote Piscine — Third Week

It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.

The third week arrived, and I am feeling very tired. Not just physically but also mentally. Everything hurts. I can’t sleep properly because I keep thinking about C and evaluations. Before this all started, I’ve read posts and watched videos of people saying they cried a lot during piscine, that they felt like giving up. I don’t feel like that at all, I haven’t cried or considered giving up, not once. But I am very stressed and grumpy.

To be honest, I feel annoyed by the number of conversations I need to have with different people every day. Evaluations are very exhausting to me, I feel like it “drains” my energy. I would like to just have some time to myself, to focus and get things done.

But not everything can be the way we want: On a Monday following a Rush, your group will be randomly assigned an evaluation slot, from 10h to 17h. Your whole group should be present, and you should all be able to defend your code. I can’t cancel your evaluation slot, because you will not receive a new one. Also, this evaluation is with a member of the W.O.L.F. pack, not a “normal” peer, so it was very nerve-wracking. Happily, we got everything right and were able to answer all questions, so we passed the Rush with flying colors. It was a relief.

After our evaluation, I submitted my C01 project, but could only get the second evaluation slot on the next day. So I started working on C02.

The days start to get blurred. I passed C01 on Tuesday, then submitted and passed C02 on Wednesday. By Thursday night I had finished C03 but was concerned about submitting it and not being able to get evaluation slots on Friday, as it is Exam day, so I decided to wait. I eventually got the evaluations on Saturday and passed, but couldn’t find the inspiration to start C04 right away.

This week we also had an announcement from the staff, saying that they suspected that at least one-third of the students cheated on the exam. They said that people could come forward to explain, but I was 100% sure I didn’t cheat, so I didn’t. And then I was surprised by a call with 2 members of the 42 team, regarding the exam. I was so nervous I started shaking. But in the end, they just asked if I had any previous coding experience, and one specific question about quotes, and everything was fine. In the end, I passed with a nice grade on the exam, but apparently, 2 people were kicked out of the Piscine for cheating. As a result, this week’s exam was with cameras on.

The exhaustion is definitively taking a toll on me. In this week’s exam, I could only pass one question. I got very frustrated because I knew the answer to the second one, and my solution passed 29 tests and failed 1. But the exam platform doesn’t tell you which exam it failed. As a result, I spent 3 hours trying to move my code around to find the error and I couldn’t. Well, at least I got one. 🤷‍♀️

I was also debating with myself about participating in the second Rush. I even reached one of the mentors and explained that I was feeling extremely burned out, but they basically said “your decisions will also be evaluated” in the Piscine admission process, so I felt a big pressure to participate. Even if they say “it’s optional!”, it felt like something mandatory “if you want to pass”. Regardless, I subscribed to participate.

In the end, the group this time was a bit “shaky”. One of the guys barely replied to our messages on the group chat, and didn’t write one single line of code, but the other was very interested and tried hard to make progress. I did my part and what I could do on Saturday and tried not to push myself too hard. But on Sunday evening I got *really* stressed and frustrated because I couldn’t make much progress and realized that we wouldn’t be able to finish. So on day 22, I had to finally accept my failure. Not fun.

At 23:42 of Sunday the deadline of rush01 closed, and we submitted only a partially working project. All I can do now is to wait for the evaluation tomorrow.

My brain has too many tabs open.